An Extra Day in Hong Kong

I will be in China one more day.
The flight from Guangzhou was delayed and we missed our international flight in Hong Kong. Instead of arriving at 7:30 on Friday, I will now arrive on Sunday at 12:30 am.  So much for the expensive tickets we bought to avoid spending the night in Hong Kong- it happened anyway. Looking on the brighter side, the airlines put us up at a very nice hotel. Yi Mei has gotten very used to the hotel life. For her, it was just another day of swimming and eating at the buffet.

Yi Mei fell asleep on her own for the first time. Since we didn't get to this hotel until 3:00, she didn't get her nap. She also wore herself out from crying today. Though the flight was only 1 hour, it was a very difficult trip. Yi Mei started crying in the taxi ride over to the airport and progressed to a raging fit on the airport floor. I couldn't even carry her, as she was fighting so hard. I had to wait 15 minutes before we could move. People kept offering her candy, but even candy won't pacify her when she has reached her melting point. The airport employees took pity on us and led us to the front of the security line and also the front of the immigration line. It's not every day that you see an American woman carrying a screaming Chinese four year old around (yes- I had to carry her the entire day because she was terrified). I wish I could say that she was better on the plane, but she had three fits where she screamed at the top of her lungs again. One fit was over being restrained and the other two were over not being able to use the washroom while we were taking off and landing. There was a wonderful Chinese woman who was able to comfort YiMei. I could barely hold Yi Mei down, as she was kicking me so hard and all this woman had to do was take her in her lap. YiMei even fell asleep in her arms at one point. I couldn't believe it! Yi Mei has not let anyone else hold her since Gotcha Day, even Kathy. I was so grateful that she settled down, but my heart hurt at the same time. This woman could have taken Yi Mei and I wonder if she would have ever called for me? I thought we were further along in our bonding, but this event shows how much she still misses her Chinese nannies. Yi Mei must have seen me weeping because she patted my face and said "Boo cue, momma", later on today (Chinese for "Don't cry mommy"). She can be so exasperating one moment and totally sweet another moment.

There is another adoption family who also missed the Chicago flight. They have a 3 1/2 year old who acts out in a similar fashion. It is nice to know that I am not alone. Her mother and I are both bracing ourselves for the 13 hour flight tomorrow.  Instead of landing in Chicago, we are now going through San Francisco and have a ten hour lay over before we board a 3 1/2 hour flight for Kansas City.  We will arrive at 12:30 am in the morning.    YiMei already went through the treats I purchased to bribe her on the flight and I don't have any Hong Kong money or time to buy more.  I just pray she sleeps on the long flight.

Our Last Day

We didn't have any appointments today so Yi Mei and I slept in until 9:00. Yi Mei no longer wakes up weepy. She has learned about the tickling game and asks to be tickled each morning. Yi Mei delights in children's games such as peek a boo and the Itsy Bitsy Spider. She has the most precious laugh and she frequently erupts in giggles.

Yi Mei had a huge breakfast of sausage, a chocolate crescent, fried rice and hashed browns. We definitely have been spoiled by the breakfast buffet. Yi Mei will be disappointed with the limited offerings at home.

Since today was our first day without any appointments, we made it a quiet day. We spent the morning dancing to Chinese Children's Music (Yi Mei loves to sing). Afterwards we went to the pool with another family. They gave Yi Mei an inner tube and she was absolutely delighted! Typical to any four year old, she wanted to swim by herself. This little girl has so much determination. You should have seen her doing laps across the pool; propelling herself forward by kicking.

I think she wore herself out, as she went down for a nap without screaming. for the first time.

We leave at 7:00 am for our twenty four hour journey home. Due to weather, Kathy got stuck in Hong Kong. She had to spend the night and will now arrive home Thursday evening. So far the forecast looks good for Friday. I am very ready to come home, but I feel sad that YiMei may is leaving her birth country.

Yi Mei will become an American citizen as soon as we land in Chicago. I am now off to get the sealed brown envelope that we hand over to US Immigration in Chicago.

Your prayers and encouraging words have sustained me.

Oath Taking Ceremony

Today Yi Mei and I went to the US Embassy to take an oath and pick up her citizenship papers. Kathy left early this morning so we were on our own. The traffic is so bad that it takes at least a half hour to get anywhere. Yi Mei did well in the taxi and I was relieved to find a bathroom in our assigned room. I knew if there was a bathroom, Yi Mei would do well. She is very quiet in new situations, preferring to sit in my lap rather than interact with the other kids. Overall,it was pretty uneventful morning.

I took Yi Mei swimming this afternoon. She is a fish in the water! Unlike her mom, she had no fear of jumping in the deep end. I have to watch her all the time because she thinks she can swim. The life jacket I bought her is so big that she floats right out of it. Yi Mei already has already jumped in before I was ready to catch her. She went all the way under and it didn't scare her one bit. I wish that I could video tape her in the water. She has learned to imitate other children, kicking her feet and moving her arms forward. She even turns over on her back and does the backstroke, while I keep her afloat. Considering she has never been in a pool, her ability amazes me!

Yi Mei had a fit when she had to go down for her nap, but it was the first one of the day. I have decided that I need to start being firm with her. We are now connected enough that I can scold her. Last night, we celebrated Kathy's last evening by taking a cruise on the Pearl River. It was a scenic tour, with breathtaking views of downtown Guangzou. I think all the excitement was too much for my little one, as she began to climb chairs and knock things over. She left me no choice but to scold her. It broke my heart to do it, but I know she needs boundaries. I think last night has made an impression on her, as we have had a fairly quiet day today.

The colorful lights on the Pearl River



Yi Mei eating her snacks in Shamian Island



China

Life in China is very hard. I am more appreciative for my American life than ever. No words can adequately describe the traffic in China. There are motor bikes, buses, bikes, taxis walkers and cars sharing the same lanes. There are lights, but traffic will cross the intersection from two different directions. If someone is in your way, you beep to let them know you are coming through. Interestingly , there are less accidents than in the USA. None of our guides own cars, as they are too afraid to drive. It seems like most people take public transportation which means often waiting for thirty minutes. Most Americans won't even try to cross an intersection, but Kathy and I are more adventurous than most. Besides the constant traffic at all hours, there is construction 24 hours a day. There are massive high rises being built everywhere.

Our first guide Queenie, was an only child. If both parents are only children a family is allowed to have two kids if the first child is a girl. Queenie's family could not afford to have a second child. She said she had a lonely childhood. Our current guide is married without children because it is so expensive to have a child. Our travel escort Winnie, said that her family was able to afford to pay the extra fee to have a third child. They were hoping for a boy, but they had another girl. She said this was still a "happy thing" because it is good to have many children. We were glad to hear this.
The people have been wonderful and we have been very humbled by the way they are so eager to serve us. When we have difficulty folding our stroller, no less than six people will try to help us get it in the taxi. When we return to our hotel, four people are there to open the door and get us an elevator. On two occasions, we asked for directions and have were escorted all the way to our destination. Our guide will serve us dinner before she eats her own meal. In Hefei, a local shop owner refused to take our money for his tea because I was doing such a good thing for the people of Hefei. He offered us lunch and kept saying thank you for adopting one of our girls. The family asked if they could take a picture with us to hang in their shop so they could tell others that Americans stopped in their shop. The local people do stare at us out of curiosity, but are quick to greet you if you say "Ni Hao". The Chinese really look up to Americans and we have been asked to pose for pictures several times.
Here is a pic of the owner of the tea shop and a photo shot from are window in Hefei

A Typical Day

I have had quite the introduction to parenthood. The honeymoon has wore off after and YiMei has been showing more of the behaviors of an institutionalized child. Typical of children from an orphanage, her emotional age is a couple years behind her chronological age. She resorts to hitting and throwing tantrums when she doesn't get her way. She seeks comfort by rocking herself and banging her head, though she also seeks comfort from being held. I have to carry her 95% of the day. On the positive side, she is very independent with self care. Yi Mei has a cold right now and I have not had to remind her to blow her nose once. She is great about getting tissue and throwing away wrappers when she is finished with her snack. It breaks my heart to think of how she had to fight to survive in the orphanage all those years.

A typical day begins with Yi Mei waking up weepy. I think it takes her awhile to process where she is. I have found that giving her a snack and reading books helps soothe her. I have to carry Yi Mei while I get dressed, as she is very clingy in the morning. When we go to breakfast, Yi Mei will ask to go potty every 5 minutes. Most of the time she doesn't urinate, but it brings her comfort to sit on the stool. If she isn't able to get to a toilet, there is a huge meltdown. I try to get a few bites down in the midst of it all. Yi Mei does enjoy our outings, but is quick to meltdown if overtired or upset. Today we went to a beautiful park near our hotel. Guangzhou is very tropical with foliage similar to Hawaii. Yi Mei was in good spirits and actually asked to push the stroller for awhile. Yi Mei walking vs. asking to be carried brought a much needed break for me (the temperature was 100 degrees). We stopped for a water break and she began walking around in circles under a tree, kissing me and giving high fives each time she passed us. At moments like this, she is too precious for words. Yi Mei saw a parked bicycle and wanted to ride it. When I pulled her off the bike, she went into a huge meltdown, throwing herself to the ground and screaming. I carried her all the way home this way. We gave her a bath (her favorite activity) and she was blowing me kisses, waiving in the mirror and singing Chinese songs.

That look means trouble!

Yi Mei is napping right now- my one respite for the day. When she gets up, she will cry and cling to me. In the evening she entertains us the most. She is a night owl, like her mother. We have fun with her at night, but this is also when she is very naughty. Yi Mei throws her utensils down at dinner and often will run and hide from me. When I scold her, she slaps my hand right back and says "No" right back to me. She has broken porcelain utensils and also ran into a busy kitchen. I also have to take her to potty every five minutes during dinner. In the evening, she will sing to her toys, walk around all giggly with our shoes on and when she is really naughty get into our belongings and dump them. She is very good at opening things up. Last night, she got very silly and started pulling her pants down and mooning Kathy. At bedtime, I have to rock her for an hour to calm her down. This is very common for orphaned kids, as they are not able to regulate their emotions. By the time she falls asleep, Kathy and I are so tired, we fall asleep right along with her.

I am looking forward to coming home , as we are not able to keep a structured routine here. It has been a hard week, but I also have been delighted by her sweetness. Yi Mei is so eager to learn and makes the cutest noises when she discovers something new. Whenever I pick her up, she breaks into a smile that melts my heart. If I think of her as a two year old in a four year old body and reduce my expectations for her behavior, then things go okay. I never thought I would be the mother who would allow her child to behave poorly in public, but I have had to throw away my old notions of how children should behave. Kathy has been so wonderful through all of this. She gets out the tissue when we need it, pushes our stroller (which Yi Mei refuses to sit in) and carries all our belongings. Kathy leaves on Wed. am- please pray for us those last two days and especially for the plane trip on Friday.

Shamian Island

We went to a lovely scenic area called Shamian Island today. The architecture is European, as it was once the only Chinese port open for trade to the outside world. Chinese couples take their wedding photos here, as it is on the river and away from the massive rows of high rise buildings. A lot of American adoptive families stay on the island, so there it is the place to go souvenir shopping. I bought Yi Mei some native Chinese dresses, a tea set, a jade necklace and some squeaky shoes. She looked absolutely adorable! Kathy Aiye (aunt Kathy) got a much needed Chinese massage for $30. After hauling our stroller and suitcases everywhere, her back gave out. I may need one of those massages as well, as Yi Mei insists on being carried everywhere. Yi Mei entertained herself by pushing the stroller down the sidewalk and chasing a kitten. She loves to share her food with others and wanted to give the kitten one of her crackers.

It is typical to wait thirty minutes for a taxi here and we got caught in a downpour in the process. Yi Mei enjoyed getting wet and I was grateful for the cool down.

A Big Day

Marriott Guangzhou

Yesterday Yi Mei took her first plane ride. It was a very hard day! She started crying in the morning as soon as she saw us packing. On the plane she threw a two our tantrum because she didn't want to be strapped in. I felt sorry for the people on the plane. She kicked seats and knocked over someone's drink. She definitely is strong willed, a quality that helped her survive. She must have thought I was going to leave her. She is doing much better today. She was so brave at her medical today. This new hotel is incredible!