A Typical Day

I have had quite the introduction to parenthood. The honeymoon has wore off after and YiMei has been showing more of the behaviors of an institutionalized child. Typical of children from an orphanage, her emotional age is a couple years behind her chronological age. She resorts to hitting and throwing tantrums when she doesn't get her way. She seeks comfort by rocking herself and banging her head, though she also seeks comfort from being held. I have to carry her 95% of the day. On the positive side, she is very independent with self care. Yi Mei has a cold right now and I have not had to remind her to blow her nose once. She is great about getting tissue and throwing away wrappers when she is finished with her snack. It breaks my heart to think of how she had to fight to survive in the orphanage all those years.

A typical day begins with Yi Mei waking up weepy. I think it takes her awhile to process where she is. I have found that giving her a snack and reading books helps soothe her. I have to carry Yi Mei while I get dressed, as she is very clingy in the morning. When we go to breakfast, Yi Mei will ask to go potty every 5 minutes. Most of the time she doesn't urinate, but it brings her comfort to sit on the stool. If she isn't able to get to a toilet, there is a huge meltdown. I try to get a few bites down in the midst of it all. Yi Mei does enjoy our outings, but is quick to meltdown if overtired or upset. Today we went to a beautiful park near our hotel. Guangzhou is very tropical with foliage similar to Hawaii. Yi Mei was in good spirits and actually asked to push the stroller for awhile. Yi Mei walking vs. asking to be carried brought a much needed break for me (the temperature was 100 degrees). We stopped for a water break and she began walking around in circles under a tree, kissing me and giving high fives each time she passed us. At moments like this, she is too precious for words. Yi Mei saw a parked bicycle and wanted to ride it. When I pulled her off the bike, she went into a huge meltdown, throwing herself to the ground and screaming. I carried her all the way home this way. We gave her a bath (her favorite activity) and she was blowing me kisses, waiving in the mirror and singing Chinese songs.

That look means trouble!

Yi Mei is napping right now- my one respite for the day. When she gets up, she will cry and cling to me. In the evening she entertains us the most. She is a night owl, like her mother. We have fun with her at night, but this is also when she is very naughty. Yi Mei throws her utensils down at dinner and often will run and hide from me. When I scold her, she slaps my hand right back and says "No" right back to me. She has broken porcelain utensils and also ran into a busy kitchen. I also have to take her to potty every five minutes during dinner. In the evening, she will sing to her toys, walk around all giggly with our shoes on and when she is really naughty get into our belongings and dump them. She is very good at opening things up. Last night, she got very silly and started pulling her pants down and mooning Kathy. At bedtime, I have to rock her for an hour to calm her down. This is very common for orphaned kids, as they are not able to regulate their emotions. By the time she falls asleep, Kathy and I are so tired, we fall asleep right along with her.

I am looking forward to coming home , as we are not able to keep a structured routine here. It has been a hard week, but I also have been delighted by her sweetness. Yi Mei is so eager to learn and makes the cutest noises when she discovers something new. Whenever I pick her up, she breaks into a smile that melts my heart. If I think of her as a two year old in a four year old body and reduce my expectations for her behavior, then things go okay. I never thought I would be the mother who would allow her child to behave poorly in public, but I have had to throw away my old notions of how children should behave. Kathy has been so wonderful through all of this. She gets out the tissue when we need it, pushes our stroller (which Yi Mei refuses to sit in) and carries all our belongings. Kathy leaves on Wed. am- please pray for us those last two days and especially for the plane trip on Friday.