Off to Beijing

Holt called me today to let me know that my paperwork is on its way to China.
I am thrilled that is will arrive before the year's end.  I am so amazed how quickly .everything got processed (especially considering my paperwork was sent over Christmas).  Six weeks from now I will receive a letter of acceptance.  I will send that off to the USCIS for final immigration approval.  The USCIS will send it to the US consulate in China, upon which my travel dates will be granted.  This whole process should take five to nine months.

I can now picture myself in China in the spring.  Now is the time to pull out the Rosetta Stone Chinese CD.

The End is in Sight!

When you are waiting for something of great importance, the wait can seem eternal!  Today my dossier came back from the Chinese Consulate adorned with colorful Chinese stamps.  These stamps are stamps signifying approval of all I have worked these past six months.

I am celebrating that these documents arrived before I leave for Chicago.All I  have to do is photocopy these and send my dossier to Holt International in Eugene.  The home office will take up to three weeks for final processing and then it is off to Beijing!

"I will go before you and level the mountains.  I break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron.  I will give you the treasure of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, God of Israel, who summons you by name"  Isaiah 45:2-3

We love you Yi Mei

It has been delightful to watch my student's get excited about Yi Mei's arrival.  They have started bringing things from home for Yi Mei.  I was very touched when one of my first graders brought in two dresses that she didn't need anymore.  Katie brought in the most beautiful bassinet for Yi Mei.  Anna brought in a stuffed frog that plays lullabyes - "in case Yi Mei gets lonely at night".  The Toney family brought in several books that have Chinese and English words- I know she will love these!

Another Glitch

Fortunately the Consulate sent my incorrect dossier  back and I was able to thread all of the staples through by hand.  I am so grateful for Maureen's help with that.  Not only did she help with the staples; she found an error that the MO Secretary of State had made.  I managed to get downtown two minutes before the downtown office closed. Everything was mailed out again last Saturday. 

Just when I thought I was through, I found out that singles now have to file two additonal forms.  I have had to do many ridiculous things since I have started this process, but the latest tops them all.  The Chinese government now requires singles to write a statement verifying they are heterosexual.  This even tops the photos that I had Rhonda take of me cooking, sewing and reading with every inch of my skin covered.   Of course, no family pets were allowed in the picture- dogs are considered a meal in China.  These requirements remind me how fortunate I am to live in a country where women are perceived very differently.

These two new forms will also have to go to the Secretary of State and the Consulate in Chicago.  I was so worried about my staple error and the time it cost me.  It looks like my process will be delayed anyway.
All this has been a reminder that I cannot control this process.  God is in control and will bring Yi Mei at the right time.  It is also a reminder that I need to get better about asking for help.  Thank goodness Craig is willing to take the new documents downtown tomorrow and I will be able to fed ex these new documents to the embassy by Saturday.  I am still hoping that I can get my dossier to China by Jan. 1st.

A Bump in the Road

My glee quickly spiraled into worry tonight, as I reread the 150 page guidebook..  I found out that I was not supposed to remove any of the staples from my documents.  I think I may have blown it.  The Chinese Consulate needed a third copy so I removed all the staples to photocopy today.  I just sent an email to my friends asking everybody to pray. 

If I have to do the state certification all over it will cost me another $120, not to mention precious time.  I can't bear the thought that my errors have delayed this adoption.  The desire of my heart is to have Yi Mei here by spring.  I want to have five months with her before she starts school next fall.  Each week that passes, it seem more impossible. I all I can do as keep pushing through the glitches and not let them get me down. I am holding onto the reality that God already knows when Yi Mei will arrive- all He asks me to do is trust His perfect will.

"Trust the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  Acknowledge the Lord in all your ways and He will make your paths straight."  Proverbs 3:5-6

Dossier Complete!

I shipped all my documents to the Chinese Embassy for authentication today.  This adoption doesn't quite feel real yet, but this was a huge step toward that reality and it felt wonderful!

Shopping with Mom/Putting Up Christmas

My mom and I did our traditional Christmas shopping today.  Mom prefers that my brother and I pick out somthing we really need rather than be surprised.  I like it that way too.  My mom bought me a lovely white down jacket, something very important for someone who walks their lab rain or shine.  I also picked out a new sweater which will go under the tree in Chicago.  I have been so busy getting set for Yi Mei and saving money, I can't remember the last time I went shopping for myself.  I think I am experiencing parenthood already.

On the way home we stopped at the Chinese grocery store.  My mom and I have always been fascinated by everything Asian.  I can attribute our love for the Asian culture to my former roommate, Huong.  Huong is a Vietnamese refugee of Chinese descent.  When we lived in Chicago, we used to do our shopping in a Vietnamese neighborhood and often ate in authentic Vietnamese, Chinese and Korean restaurants.  Houng's parents made us homemade egg rolls, Peking duck and these delightful pancakes that melted in my our mouths.  My mom, always up for a culinary adventure shared many of these dining experiences with us.  I had a pretty good thing going during those years- I paid extra rent and Huong did all the cooking. Now I have to expand my knowledge of Chinese cooking myself.  It has been said that the adopted kids always have a preference for rice.  I am glad Huong gave me a deluxe rice cooker for a shower gift this past summer.

I still take delight in meandering the jam packed aisles of the Chinese grocery store filled with cases of whiskered fish and foreign labels of all kinds.  Mom bought Yi Mei a pair of child size chopsticks, a place mat and some plastic Chinese dishes.  I think it will comfort her to have something familiar when she arrives. 

Once we got home, I set up the Christmas tree.  I typically do this while my family is in town.  It makes me feel like we are doing it together, even though I do the decorating while everybody else sits around the TV.

I can hardly wait to start my own traditions with Yi Mei next year.  She will bake Christmas cookies with my friend Debby,  have a traditional German advent calendar, put her shoes out on the German St. Nicholas Day and see the windows downtown Chicago.  Mostly, I look forward to sharing the true meaning of Christmas- the most precious gift God has ever given us.

Sweet News

An amazing day!  I opened the mail today to find a letter from Show Hope.  I held my breath as I opened its contents.  I could hardly believe my eyes, as I stared at the $5000 amount that was awarded to me by Steven Curtis Chapman's Organization.  Not only did I receive a grant, but I was awarded the maximum amount.  God is so faithful!

Mom and Dad are driving in from Chicago for Thanksgiving.  I can hardly wait to share this and show my mom Yi Mei's room and special gifts.

Yi Mei's Shower

Angela and Sandy threw Yi Mei and I shower.  The guests were all the wonderful girlfriends that I met through Church of The Resurrection Singles Group.  My dear friends Nancy and Kathy and my colleagues Maureen, Christine and Debra were also there.  I couldn't have been more blessed (well maybe if my mom had been able to make it).

The shower was planned around the princess theme.  Several of the gifts also were chosen based on the princess theme.  I think it is prophetic, as she will feel like a princess as she is adored by her mother, many aunts and Jesus. There was even a picture of Yi Mei in a princess frame. She now has a princess scooter, a barbie, hello kitty sleeping bag and back pack, a play tent, her first doll, a stroller, an apron (mom has a matching apron too), a cow pillow pet and two very special bibles.  Angela had made the most delectable cheesecake.  My favorite game was guessing what was on  the tray.  Angela had put loads of goodies on the tray and they were all part of my gift.

I am so blessed by my friendships!  Sandy said something that truly touched my heart about everybody feeling like they already knew and loved Yi Mei.  I stand amazed that a beautiful, brown-eyed girl on the other side of the world has already won the hearts of so many... I am still overwhelmed that my friends love my daughter... already.  Though you are halfway around the world, I hope you can feel our love, darling daughter.

Movement

The magic document that I have been waiting for arrived today.  I received my I  797approval!   I have my dossier documents all ready to go.  Next they must be authenticated by the state.  I have one pile ready to ship to the Office of the KS Secretary of  State  and another ready to ship to the Office of the MO Secretary of Sate.  I am praying that the turn around will be quick.  This is the journey of the Dossier:

Notarize documents
Send documents to Sec. of State for certification approval
Documents are sent back with gold seal of approval
Send documents to Chinese Consulate in Chicago for authentication
Documents are returned with stickers from the Chinese Embassy
Send documents to Holt for final processing (up to 2 weeks)
Dossier sent to China

My goal is to have my Dossier in China by the first of the year.  It seems like a lofty goal, considering it is mid- November, but I know that I serve a big God!

Waiting, Waiting, Waiting

A lot of people have asked what happens next.  Now that my home study is complete and I have been FBI fingerprinted, I have to wait for an official notice of adoption approval (I 797)l from the USCIS- Department of Homeland Security.  Up until now, things have moved along nicely.  Waiting for the USCIS has seemed endless.  I submitted the forms eight weeks ago, so they should be coming any day now. 

Everyone who knows me well, knows that I am a planner.  Its hard for me to just sit still and wait for things to happen.  This is definitely a period of growth for me- God is using this to develop the patience I will need when I am a mom.

"He gives strength to the weary and increases t he power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and ewary and old men stumble and fall, but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength."  Isaiah 40:29-31

Story Time

One of my favorite things to do is read to the kids at school.  I hardly have opportunity to do it enough.
I love children's books and I am looking forward to making story time special for Yi Mei.  Now I have an excuse to spend money on children's books :)

My friend 'sDebby and Wendy bought some lovely books to start her collection. 

Yi Mei's Playroom

Gina came over to help me paint the playroom.  Now Yi Mei has a bright room to express her creativity.
I can already envision herpainting, drawing and playing dress up.  I think this will be her favorite room!

Little dresses and such

I have been up all night putting away Yi Mei's clothes.  My friend Nancy's sister has donated the most beautiful sun dresses.  I have been waiting all week to go through the boxes!   I also picked up some wonderful clothing from Joy today.  The clothes originally came from a Prairie Star family and it is all name brand clothing that I could never afford.  All the jeans have these adorable embellishments and the leggings have matching tops.  It purposefully waited until Saturday evening to unpack my treasures.  As I put the clothing away, I dreamt of Yi Mei in all these fabulous outfits.  She really is going to be a stylish girl- just like her mother.

A Very Special Day

It was a day I will never forget!  Bette, Gina and Genene hosted an event to celebrate Yi Mei.    It was the most perfect day.  Genene planned some wonderful games.  My favorites were guess the Chinese word and pin the bow on Hello Kitty. 

Bette ordered these darling bite-size cupcakes in pink and lime green. Gina was had everything decorate so nicely, also in pink and lime green The girls had everyone bring a hair bow as an entry ticket.  Yi Mei will have plenty of fun hair accessories. 

 Yi Mei received some very personal gifts such as children's books from Debby, a stuffed labrador pup and darling knit cap from Genene and a portrait sitting from Sue- gifts that I will always treasure.  Amazingly, Jennifer  managed to pick out the exact outfit that I have selected for my registry.  Kim got Yi Mei a little lap top to help her learn English and Bette/Kathy got her the portable DVD player for our long trips to Chicago.  I was thrilled that Wendi and Jenny were able to join us all the way from Topeka.  Jenny and Wendi are hand designing a Jenny Lu piece of art for Yi Mei. 

Yi Mei, you are so loved already!

Garage Sales

I made $500 from a two day garage sale this weekend and I am wiped!  God is good!  Even the rain was not a hindrance.  Tim's amazing  four feet signs also helped!  Having Tim help with the sale was a great blessing.  Once again, I an in awe of how everybody has their own unique gift offering.  Thanks to Neil and other friends,

I think I am addicted to garage sale shopping. Due to my own sale, I had to take a break and my weekend just wasn't complete.  I have had more fun garage sale shopping this month!  I have already got Yi Mei two bikes, a jogging stroller, a kitchen along with table and chairs, a crib and highchair, numerous toys and a fabulous learning game system. My favorite purchases have been the dress coat, party dresses and shoes that I have found.  Each weekend of sale shopping has produced a lovely treasure.

A Night to Remember

I am too excited to sleep tonight.  Thanks to my very thoughtful and amazing friends Sue, Kim, Kathy and Leslie, we were able to raise $2500 dollars toward Yi Mei's adoption.  To be honest, I was very nervous about the fundraising event.  It is very humbling to ask for money, even if it is for such a worthy cause.  If ti weren't for my friends faith in what God could do, this event never would have happened.

I will never forget the generous outpouring of love and support that I received tonight and all through the week.  Five of my coworkers came to support me tonight, which meant the world to me. Patti's sister that I don't even know, Gina's cousin that I have never met and a stranger that Suzann met- all contributed. Then there was Wendy who could not make it but enclosed a check in my favorite book, " I Love You Like Crazy Cakes". One of my dear friends who wants to remain anonymous offered gave me a blank check and asked me to pray about the amount.  Her faith in God's provision inspires my own faith. I know there will be days that I will feel overwhelmed by the financial and emotional challenge of parenting, may I always remember tonight- a testimony that God can do more than I could ever ask or imagine.

Everything is coming together in the most beautiful way- a tapestry of love being woven around me.
I was extremely touched by two offers to hold a fundraiser for me.   friends . My friend Kathy is taking two weeks off to travel to China with me.  I can't imagine anyone else other than mom that I would rather have with me. During a prayer time at church, someone had a picture of God enlarging my heart through this adoption process.  Through many years of disappointment, some arteries had become clogged  and my heart was not experiencing a life flow.  I can already feel my heart enlarging through the extravagant generosity of my friends. 

What I love most is seeing how each friend has something uniquely special to contribute to this journey.  Bette Jayne and I worked on Yi Mei's photo book this weekend.  I will send this book to Yi Mei when I receive my official Letter of Acceptance from China.  The book will be read to her by her caregivers to prepare her for adoption.  I took pictures of her bedroom, school, neighborhood kids, new mother, grandparents, uncle and of course, Freedom.  I can't wait to send her the book.  Thanks to Bette and her scrap booking talents, I love the way the book turned out . 

My Darling Daughter

Upon opening my email today, I found the most delightful surprise.  China sent me an update on Yi Mei's health along with three new pictures.  Yi Mei has grown so much!  The pictures I received upon match were taken at two years of age.  She is now three years and four months.  I had to laugh that the orphanage had her sit on a plastic reindeer for the photo shoot.  She still has her cute round face, but is much taller. Her orphanage is actually quite lovely on the outside- a lush tropical setting.  Based on the appearance of her clothes, she seems to be well taken care of.  This greatly reassures my heart.

Yi Mei, I long for the day we will meet.  Seeing you in these pictures makes me realize how much I am missing out on.  How I wish I could have been there as you took your first steps and said your first words.  I have so many things I want to experience with you- decorating our Christmas tree, reading stories together, trick or treating on Halloween, watching you blow out your birthday candles just to name a few.  You are so beautiful and I can feel God's love for you.  I know you must be very special to His heart, as he selected you from all those children in China to knit you into His family.  You are already so special to me- my love grows stronger for you each day.

Parenting Class

I completed my adoption training class this weekend.  Sixteen hours of training on how to parent an internationally adopted child.  I think all parents should be required to take a class before starting a family.  It is ironic that a fifteen year old can have a baby in the back seat of a car without much thought at all and those of us who desperately want them have to jump through so many hoops.
I was hoping that our group would become close as I have heard so many families do after their intense weekend of training.  Our group was so diverse and they were all from up north.  One family was a missionary couple adopting a teenager from the Philippine Islands and the other was a Korean/Vietnamese couple adopting a Chinese baby. 

After taking this class and reading up on adoption, I feel a sense of sadness about removing Yi Mei from her culture.  I know the adoption process in itself causes trauma for the child.  I also feel sad that I won't be able to give her a dad, sibling or cousins  I especially grieve that my parents are so old- I want my mom to be healthy enough to be "Oma" to Yi Mei and for Yi Mei to know her German roots.  Though I know she will have more opportunities than she would ever have as an orphan in China,  I long for her to experience the joy of having siblings and cousins.  When this weighs heavy on my heart, I have to trust God will heal Yi Mei's abandonment.  I also trust that He can make up for all that I can not provide and will do more  than I can ask or imagine.

Up to My Ears

At the very onset of summer vacation , I began filling out forms and more forms.  Employment verification, financial disclosure, medical history, credit history, legal history and more.  I had to submit to a criminal background check and finger printing, as well as  ask six friends to write personal references. All these documents had to be completed prior to my home study.   Now I will begin the final and most time consuming part of the process, completing the dossier.  Up until this summer, I had never even heard of a dossier and now it is part of my everyday conversation.  A Dossier is essentially your life story. 

I  thought I would list out some of the things I will be working on just to give you an idea of how much is involved...

*Complete 10 hours of training on international adoption
* Write an 8-10 page autobiography
*Write application letter
*Physical and blood test
*Obtain certified copy of birth certificate
*Write a letter on my view of marriage (requirement for singles)
*Letters from employer (completed)
*Letters of recommendation(completed)
*Copies of tax returns (completed)
*Letter from bank and bank statements
*Write statement verifying I am heterosexual
*Have passport photos taken
*Power of Attorney forms
*Police clearance letter(completed)
*Immigration clearance
*Fingerprints/background checks (one complete, need FBI fingerprinting)

All of the documents I have to collect must also be notarized, certified, and/or authenticated... so you can see why I will be up to my ears in paperwork!

Nesting

I have been staying up very late this past week.  I am so fortunate to have summer to devote to this adoption and I have been throwing myself into it full force. 

I have had the urge to sort through everything.  I have heard this is what happens when you are expecting.  I guess the same thing happens when you are adopting.  Even though technically you are not with child, you are pregnant with expectation.  As I have been cleaning out my closets, I have found that I have way too much clothes!!!  I have four closets full of clothes, plus a dresser in Yi Mei's room.  Something has to give, if I want to make room for her clothes/toys.

I have also decided that Yi Mei needs a special bedroom.  Even though the guest bedroom has flowered wall paper and already looks like a girl's room, I want her to love her bedroom when she first comes home.  Rhonda and I painted the walls lime green.  I found some cute pink valences with hearts and the perfect bedspread on sale.  I also found some green/pink dragonfly decals that were reduced from $20 to $2.  I felt the valences, bedspread and decals were all little gifts from God- His way of expressing delight over my decision to become a parent. Rhonda and Tony bought Yi Mei a beautiful ceiling fan that just completes the room. The room looks so cute now!  Every time I walk down the hall, I find myself wanting to stop in to take a peek.

It Takes a Village

It has been an incredible past few days!  God has confirmed my decision to adopt in so many ways.  I have had seven people offer to throw me a shower. Nancy went out and bought Yi Mei a storage system for her toys, ribbons for her hair, underwear, a princess blanket and socks- I am now set with all the essentials. She also had an extra bed that is the most beautiful girl's bed that I have ever seen.  Yi Mei will really feel like a princess now.  Jackie Mc Kain brought over clothes that Katie has grown out of and my friend Genene gave me the most gorgeous roses.  The roses were two-tone, yellow with red piping.  In the center she placed a single red rose representing Yi Mei and all the love surrounding her. 

I was at a barbecue at Debby's house tonight and my girlfriend's spouses were just as excited as their wives.  Sandy's daughter who I have only met once, sent me money to help bring Yi Mei home.  All this love and support has meant the world to me, as my own family can not embrace the idea just yet.  Suzann sent me a wonderful card stating "Remember you are not alone, it takes a village to raise a child and we are your village".

Woo Hoo!

Tonight was the night of my much anticipated home study.  The home study is when a social study comes to your home for several meetings to determine if you are ready for parenthood.  Even though the adoption books portray the home study as if it were a very difficult examination, I didn't get too worked up about it.  After receiving much well meaning advice about how to prepare for this event,  I decided not to do any of it.  I figured that I would be most comfortable being myself and if I failed this exam than adoption must not be God's will for me.  Not to mention the fact that I was gone all day and had no time to put even slice and bake cookies in the oven.  However, I put new batteries in the smoke detectors, made a first aid kit and displayed some cabinet locks and outlet covers to prove that I was a safety conscious parent.  I even made sure to put out the adoption books that I have been reading.

My social worker, Joann, was rather laid back about the whole event.  She obviously hadn't read the answers to the questions I carefully prepared and submitted, as she asked the exact same questions. Since I had made a couple stops in the office already, she said we only had to meet one more time and that we would use that time to proofread her work.  I thought to myself, surely this couldn't be all there is to it- surely she will ask to see my home or inquire about my first aid kit.  At the risk of sounding too cocky, I mentioned that it sounded like I had already passed the home study.  She said that Holt does such a thorough job screening, that anyone who gets this far is considered approved.  Now I am really glad that I didn't get too worked up about this whole thing!

My Little Girl

I took Yi Mei's report to the pediatrician today.  I was anxious to hear his take on the Chinese report.  The agency gives you a week to change your mind and I was counting on today's appointment to make my official decision.  The doctor confirmed that Yi Mei was a healthy little girl with no developmental delays.  He also said that a deformed auricle is not a huge issue in Western countries and that she may not even need surgery.  If she has an ear canal, they may try to restore hearing. If not, she will live a normal life with one good hearing ear.  This was report was music to my ears!

Holt also put me in touch with another family that adopted a girl with the same condition.  Evidently this little girl is thriving and the surgery was only a matter of putting tubes in her ears. I was very grateful for this phone call and for the encouragement of Jackie and Nancy. I was reminded  that if everybody waited until they had enough money to start a family, nobody would become a parent.

It is official.  I am adopting Lu Yi Mei. From hear on out, it will be a journey of faith.  Faith that God will provide enough money for this adoption and to cover her medical needs/insurance when she gets here. 

After pouring over many name books, I have decided to keep her Chinese name.  It is a beautiful name and it just doesn't seem right to take away her history.  Her middle name will be Elise, which means God's promise.

 Friends have already commented that she looks like me with her haircut.  I find this pleasantly amusing.

"Delight in the Lord and He will grant you the desires of your heart"

An Unexpected Surprise!!!

I was at school today getting documents notarized and picking up books for tutoring, when I got a call from Holt.  I was very puzzled by this and a little worried that I had made some kind of mistake.  To my greatest delight, I found that Holt had already matched me with a three year old girl.  I was speechless, as I have not even completed my Home study.  When I asked the social worker how could this be, she replied, "We have a fabulous team at work in China."  I thought to myself, I have an awesome God working on my behalf!


The timing of all this is amazing, as my parents are here from Chicago this week. It seemed only fitting, that I should share this wonderful news with my mom firsthand.  I am overjoyed and scared at the same time.  I now have 24 hours to make a decision.  All of a sudden this adoption has become real.  Am I really able to do this?


The little girl's name is Lu Yi Mei.  Lu is her surname, it is derived from the region she lives in.  Yi means in hopes of being talented and smart.  Mei means beautiful.  She really is a beautiful girl  who has light in her countenance.  This sweet little girl was abandoned at the city gate at birth and has been in an orphanage all her life.  I was relieved to find out that she is in a US funded orphanage with good care (even pre-school).  Yi Mei has a deformed auricle.  I have been up all night reading, but there is little information on this condition. 

Will I be able to afford the required surgery?  Can I really parent a child with special needs?  I want to celebrate, but I find myself filled with questions. 

When I look at the process before me, I see many reasons not to pursue this dream.  There are still many doubts that make me wonder how this will possible work out.  But it is then that I must remind myself that when God calls us to do something, we have to trust the HE will make a way

I do believe with all my heart that this is what God has called me to do.  Even so, I have a choice and that choice involves a leap of faith. I can choose the path of least resistance or I can choose the road less traveled which will ultimately lead to blessings beyond my imagination.

Do not follow where the path may lead.
Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
--- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Journey Has Begun

I celebrated my birthday with several close friends this evening.  We enjoyed a lovely spring evening, sitting out on the patio of Los Cobos and sharing deeply.  I told my friends that I have decided to adopt a little girl from China.  It is official now.  I didn't expect everyone to be so surprised.   It has been in my heart so long, I guess I didn't realize that others did not know how much I have wanted to do this.  It is fitting that I announced my news on my 45th birthday.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,  "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.  Jer. 29:11